You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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