she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
