The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
