How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
We are two peas in an std pod
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Randomize