You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
