Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
