Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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