so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
