This girl is more easily done than said...
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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