shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
