I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
