Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
