we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
