Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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