I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
My breasts were aching with rage.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Randomize
