At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
