Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
