Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Randomize
