who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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