I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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