The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
