Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
