yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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