Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
