Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Come share oat with me in your robe
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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