It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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