ya dads aren't the best wingmen
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
