hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
