my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
