is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
