yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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