Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
