i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
