I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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