My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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