I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
