would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
