the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
