Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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