He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
