3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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