I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
