went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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