i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
The feeling are messing with the penis
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
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