He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
