Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
