Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
