You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
