Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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