why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
