I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
